Evolution
Author: LauraJo
Email: laura@laurajo.net
Rating: PG
Archive: S/J archive, others please ask
Summary: It's just possible that a change may be coming. Episode
addition for "Unnatural Selection".
Disclaimer: The characters and setting belong to MGM/Gekko/Double Secret, and no
harm is intended by this little piece of fiction.
Spoilers: "Unnatural Selection"
Status: Complete
Author's Notes: Thanks to Jen for the beta at such short notice. {9th December 2002}
For my Grandad, who we said goodbye to today.
~~~
The bridge was quiet, and had probably been that way for most of the journey home. Sam didn't know that from her own experience, she hadn't been near it since she, Teal'c and Jonas had vacated in search of rest not more than fifteen minutes into their journey. However, the colonel still sat in the centre chair, looking as though he hadn't moved a muscle since they had left him all those hours before. The likelihood was, he hadn't. At least, not voluntarily.
Now though, they were almost home, and Sam had come to realise there was something she had to do before they got back to Earth. She had to speak to the colonel. She had to apologise to the colonel. She had to try and close the rift that had opened up between them with the realisation of what they had done to Fifth. It was with this in mind that she approached him, and re-took her earlier seat by his side.
"Carter," he said in acknowledgement of her presence.
"Sir."
"You been using the time to play with the systems?"
"A little. I tried resting, but I couldn't shut down. So I've been in the engine room."
"Ah."
There was an awkward silence before Sam spoke again.
"Sir, I wanted to apologise. We made the right choice back there. You made the right choice. We couldn't have brought him with us, I never should have told him we would. I realise I've been taking more into my own hands recently, not just with this mission but on others too, and it isn't my place to make those decisions. That's your job. I guess it just took me a while to recognise what I was doing, partly because this is the first time you've reversed my decision. So, I'd like to apologise."
"Carter, I know you've been making more command decisions. I've been letting you."
"Sir?" Sam's surprise was evident in her voice.
"It's been a conscious decision. I'm not going to be around forever, and-"
"Sir, I-"
"Carter, let me finish. I'm not talking about anything sinister here, I'm not talking about my own death. I'm talking about the end of my time at the SGC."
"I'm not sure I understand, sir."
"For once, I'm sure you don't. I guess it's like this. No matter what we say, we can't all do this forever. I'm not getting any younger, and now Daniel's gone... well, I don't feel so much like I'd be breaking up the team in leaving. In that way, I think he did me a favour. Did us a favour. Someone had to be the first to go, and I can't think of a better way than the way he went."
"You mean dying?"
"No, I mean choosing to go. And he did. He chose to ascend, he chose not to be saved; and it was probably the best thing for all of us."
"You think him being gone is better than just deciding to leave the SGC, and still being around to see us all?" Sam questioned.
"Yes, because he didn't give up. Wherever he is, he might still be able to help us one day. There have to be some benefits to going all glowy."
Despite their conversation, Sam tried to suppress a grin. "Is that a technical term, sir?"
"Hell, why not? I doubt there's anything in the dictionary to cover it. My point is, ascending was a better choice than resigning because he was just fed up, or one of us resigning for..." Jack trailed off, realising too late what he had been about to say.
"Personal reasons?" Sam suggested.
"Yeah. That."
"I guess I knew that, sir."
"I know you did." Jack got up from his chair and walked to the front of the bridge, coming to a stop facing away from his 2IC.
"But how does that fit with what you said just now, about not being around forever?" she asked.
"Daniel made the first move, he broke up SG-1."
"We still have SG-1, sir, it's just different."
"That's my point, it's different. And it can be different again, and it doesn't matter so much anymore. I'm not the only person who can command this unit, you've proven that to me and to Hammond over these past weeks and-"
"The general knows?"
Jack sighed, realising he'd just let something else slip. "He knows. I may as well tell you now, he plans on you taking my place."
"Why me? I've not had any real command experience before, my first shouldn't be a flagship unit."
Jack resisted the urge to turn around and face her. "Why the hell not? You're more than ready. It would be wrong to give SG-1 to anyone else, and Hammond knows it. If he didn't, I probably wouldn't think about leaving 'til he worked it out."
"Then don't leave. If there's nothing making you go right now, stay."
"Sam..." The use of her name caught Sam's attention, and somehow shifted the emphasis of Jack's following words. "I want out before it's too late for a life after the SGC. I'm not saying that means right now, I never once said that it means right now, but it does mean soon. Let other people fight the fight. I'm quite happy to let you and everyone else keep on fighting; knowing you're still out there will make it that bit easier to stop. But I do need to stop."
Sam let his words sink in while she found the courage to ask what she really wanted to know. "What will you do?"
Taking a deep breath, but still not turning around, Jack replied, "That kinda depends."
"On?"
"I think you know."
"Then you won't be leaving Colorado Springs." It could have been a question. With those words, in that precise order, it could have been a question. But it wasn't.
"I'd hoped not to."
"So when, sir?"
"As soon as it feels right."
And with that, there was nothing more to say. Sam turned and left the bridge with the ghost of a smile forming on her lips, leaving the colonel still staring forwards. It wasn't until she made it back to the engine room that she realised they had never sorted through the business with Fifth. But then, something told her that wasn't important anymore. They had come to an understanding about something else. Something more tangible, something in which they actually had a choice.
And in this case, it was definitely a choice they could both live with.
THE END
7146
Remember. Cherish. Honour. Love. Respect.
