That Was Then
Author: LauraJo
Email: laura@laurajo.net
Rating: G
Archive: S/J archive, others please ask
Summary: He knew she would come. Episode addition for "Paradise
Lost".
Disclaimer: The characters and setting belong to MGM/Gekko/Double Secret, and no
harm is intended by this little piece of fiction.
Spoilers: "A Hundred Days", "Paradise Lost"
Status: Complete
Author's Notes: This was written on the journey home from a meal with Suz and Christine,
and as such is for them, just because I had a nice evening :-) {January 2003}
~~~
As far as the 'stuck on a planet with no way home' scenarios went, this was certainly different. And definitely not the scenario of choice, if there could ever be such a thing.
Stuck on a planet with Harry Maybourne. Fun.
Stuck on a planet with a crazy, paranoid, and delusional Harry Maybourne. Even more thrilling.
Stuck on a planet with a previously crazy, paranoid, and delusional but now unconscious Harry Maybourne. Pretty close to as bad as it's going to get.
Yes, this was... fun.
Even now though, Jack felt no particular anxiety about getting away from this place. He never had, right from the beginning - something he suspected Harry had found it hard to understand. But then, Harry probably wasn't in full possession of the relevant facts.
He probably didn't know that Jack had given up once before.
It wouldn't occur to him that Jack wasn't going to make the same mistake twice.
Oh, he knew the facts of that other situation. He knew when, how, and where, and he knew what had been done to get him back. Just as he knew by whom. He also had some idea of what had grown since then. After all, for someone who was wanted for treason, Harry had made an appearance on an alarmingly regular basis. So no, Harry wasn't missing the facts. What he was missing were the details. He was missing the actual thoughts that went along with those events, and their consequences.
He was missing the promise never to give up on her again.
And it had been that, more than any of his training, that had kept Jack going on this deserted world. He knew she would come. He knew, no matter how long it took, that she would be there for him, and he could hang onto that. If the last few years had taught Jack O'Neill anything, it was that where she was concerned he was a patient man. He could wait.
Of course, there were differences between this time and the one his mind kept referring him to. This time, he had no idea where he was. So logically, there was a high chance she didn't either.
This time, there were no refugees stranded back on Earth. There was no reason to continue to attempt contact except to rescue two colonels who, to be brutally honest, were both on the wrong slope of the curve where their usefulness to the Air Force was concerned. No, no reason at all to keep looking. Except no one gets left behind. And she understands that.
Though she understood it then, too. She understood, she upheld, and she got hurt in the process. He understands now, he recognises his mistakes and what they cost her. He knows that, even if there were anyone else here but Harry, there would be no one else. That much, if nothing else, has changed. He hopes she knows that, he thinks she does. It's enough for him not to give up.
He has considered that not everyone back home will be as committed to his return. Through necessity, through practicality, if not by choice. By now, Hammond would have been considering the long-term consequences for the SGC, and for SG-1. The chances were he'd already chosen the new team leader. He wouldn't have told her though, not yet. He'd have said enough to prepare her. He'd have planted the idea that an appointment would be made soon, would likely have dropped her name in as a possible candidate; but he would give her some time before any official announcement. It's how Jack would have played it, had it been his choice.
That was different from last time, too. She wasn't ready then. She might say she would never be ready, not for it to happen like this. Sometimes, just sometimes, she was wrong. She may never like it, but she had been ready for it for a long time.
As Harry stirred for the first time in something like a day, thoughts of her were temporarily driven away. It only occurred to Jack later that it was perhaps a little too predictable, a little too clichéd that the moment he stopped thinking of her, she came. Like the watched kettle that never boils. Though of course, it wasn't anything more than a passing thought. Far more of his time was spent remembering. Remembering that first sight of her. Committing to memory the feelings evoked as she neared him, striding ahead of Teal'c and Jonas, all the while knowing that if they'd wanted to keep up with her, they could have. That they let her outstrip them told him all he needed to know about what had happened since he'd been gone, and he was grateful.
He was grateful, because there was one thing that certainly hadn't changed between 'then' and now. They still couldn't say, "I missed you." They couldn't say it, they couldn't show it, not to each other.
Not then, when things were so much more complicated and he hadn't understood why their reunion had been so confusing.
And not now, when he knew as he had done since he'd been here, that he was going home.
THE END
6641
Remember. Cherish. Honour. Love. Respect.
