Walking Away
Author: LauraJo
Email: laura@laurajo.net
Rating: G
Archive: SJ yes
Summary: What did Sam say when she was retested? Missing scene from "Divide and
Conquer".
Disclaimer: The characters, setting and small pieces of this dialogue belong to
MGM/Gekko/Double Secret. I'm just borrowing them to fill in a gap.
Spoilers: Divide and Conquer - knowledge of this episode is required.
Status: Complete
Author's notes: This - my first completed SG1 fanfic - is for Lin, for
introducing me to such a wonderful show. {April 2002}
~~~
"Now retest me."
Sam tried not to show the relief she felt that her theory had been right as she walked over to the test chair. She'd been fairly certain that she and Jack had led the testing equipment to false conclusions with their censored version of events, but until they were actually retested she still couldn't be absolutely sure that they hadn't been compromised.
When Sam reached the chair, she helped Jack out of the straps that had held him in place before sitting down and allowing him to fasten them around her. She had little time to get comfortable before Anise began the test, with Jack standing in the place Sam herself had recently occupied. After one last check of her equipment, the Tok'ra woman got the proceedings underway.
"Major Carter, I believe it will be sufficient to take this from the moment your armband ceased to work. Could you tell me what happened then?"
Taking a deep breath, Sam started in on her narrative. "I was on the floor when the armband came off, having fallen when I ran into the forcefield. Once the device was no longer able to interact with my system, I passed out. I don't know how long I was out for, but when I came round the colonel was lying on the floor on the other side of the forcefield. I called out to him and he got up. We both realised quickly that we didn't have much time before the explosives detonated. He started to look for a way to get me out."
"You were trapped behind the forcefield, and Colonel O'Neill was trying to disable it to let you escape?"
"Yes."
"What were you doing at this time?"
"I was telling him to go."
Jack cast his eyes downward as Sam said this, aware that his second-in-command shouldn't have had to tell him to do anything. At least she hadn't said 'ordering', even if it would have been more accurate. Not that he could blame her. It had quickly become obvious that there was nothing Jack could do to help her, and if he'd followed protocol he should have left her and tried to get himself out. He should have gone for minimal risk to life.
"You told him to leave you behind?" Anise continued her questioning.
"Yes."
"But he didn't?"
"No."
"How did this make you feel?"
"It made me feel," Sam paused for a moment. This was it, this was when she had to try and get the truth across. Somehow she had to follow Jack's example and be honest without saying too much, without saying something that was going to make any real difference to either her personal or professional lives. "I was glad I wasn't alone."
"You wanted him to stay, even though it would mean he died along with you?"
"Almost. I knew the colonel should leave. I didn't want him to die when he didn't have to, but..." Sam moved her gaze over to Jack as she spoke her last words, locking her eyes to his in much the same way as he had at the end of his own retest. "I wanted him with me," she continued, "because I couldn't ever bear the thought of him leaving. I could never watch him walk away."
Jack tore his eyes away from Sam's in time to see the bars on the screen before him fade to nothing, confirming to him, Anise and everyone else what Sam herself had already worked out.
"You are also not a Za'tarc." Anise's spoken words triggered a tangible feeling of relief in everyone present, and when Sam thanked the Tok'ra more than one person felt that the gratitude was misplaced. Sam deserved her own thanks, for realising what had been wrong and having the courage to face it, having the courage to make her commanding officer face it. Even as those around him thought this, O'Neill was making his way over to Sam to release her from the restraints.
"Carter."
"Sir," she replied. Now came the time to place all of this in a box, a neatly tidied compartment where it was known about but need not be acted on. "None of this has to leave this room."
"We're okay with that?"
Was Sam okay with that? There really was only one possible answer.
"Yes sir."
She had to be okay with it, they both did. If they weren't, it changed everything, and neither of them were ready for that just yet. For now they had to carry on as before, walk away from this and bring their minds back to the matter at hand. The President's visit.
One day, they would deal with it. And when they did, the chances were that the lightly veiled confessions each had made today would make things easier. That was something to be thankful for.
THE END
899
Remember. Cherish. Honour. Love. Respect.
