Christmas, 2378
"Miral! Miral, dammit! At nine months old you shouldn't be able to get away from me that quickly!"
Kathryn smiled and scooped up the baby from the ground at her feet. "It's okay, B'Elanna. I've got her."
"Oh, thanks Captain. Could you keep an eye on her for just a few minutes while I finish programming the replicator?"
"Not a problem at all. Miral likes to play with her Aunt Kathryn, don't you sweetheart?" Stroking one finger gently down the child's cheek before dropping a kiss on her forehead, Kathryn carried Miral over towards the Christmas tree.
Miral reached out one small chubby hand and tried to grab for one of the chocolate treats on the tree, and Kathryn moved her out of reach just in time. "Later, sweetie."
This was a Christmas of firsts for the ex-Voyager crew – first Christmas home after their journey, Miral's first Christmas… Kathryn was spending the day at the Paris house, as was her mother. Gretchen Janeway and Tom's mother, Elizabeth Paris, were catching up on lost time in the form of a great swap of holo-images from the several years since the last time they met.
Admiral Paris had been obliged to take a conference call, but promised to be available in time for the meal. As food was involved, Elizabeth said he was to be believed. Since Tom was helping B'Elanna in the kitchen, this left Kathryn and Miral to their own devices. They were just about to begin a wonderfully entertaining game in which Kathryn attempted to stop Miral from eating her hair, when they were interrupted by the door chime.
Kathryn rose with Miral in her arms and headed into the hallway. "I'll get it, B'Elanna."
The figure at the door surprised her. "Chakotay." He had been asked to join them today, but had declined the invitation in favour of spending the holiday season with Seven of Nine. "What are you doing here?"
It hadn't been Kathryn's intention for her question to sound as harsh as it did, but she was feeling a little at a loss for words. She had not expected to see her former first officer today, and had resigned herself to it. When the reason for his absence was quite that tall and quite that blonde, Kathryn had found it to sting just a little.
"I'm-" he looked over Kathryn's right shoulder, then down at his feet. "- I didn't have… Seven and I broke off our relationship this morning and I didn't have anywhere else to spend Christmas. I didn't want to go home and spend it alone."
This morning? They ended it on Christmas day? She took a step back and invited him into the hallway, before closing the door behind him and leading the way into the living room.
"Take a seat," she deposited Miral on his knees as he sat, then headed towards the door to the kitchen. "I'm going to tell B'Elanna you're here."
Tom and B'Elanna had heard the door chime, but had missed Kathryn's exclamation of Chakotay's name. They looked around expectantly when she entered the room.
Tom counted people off on his fingers. "We weren't expecting anybody else, were we?"
Kathryn's surprise still showed on her face. "It's Chakotay. He and Seven have split up, and he had nobody else to spend Christmas with. I guess he's joining us for dinner."
"Woah, how's he doing? Timing could certainly be better." Tom was elbow deep in a bowl of stuffing, the only thing - save the turkey - being made from scratch. "You should go and talk to him."
"I don't know how he's doing, he only just got here, and why do you assume me talking to him will make anything better? I haven't seen him more than a couple of times in the nine months we've been home. He wasn't even at the ceremony for my promotion, despite the fact that I invited the entire crew."
"Ah," B'Elanna looked up from her replicator program. "I see."
"What do you see?" Kathryn sighed.
"I understand now. He didn't come to your promotion, but you're not angry about it, you're sad. You've been missing him, and now you feel bad for being happy he's not with Seven any longer."
Kathryn gaped. Her chief-engineer - her ex-chief-engineer – wasn't supposed to talk to her like that. And, dammit, when she did get so perceptive? Human emotions weren't supposed to be her strong suit, but she was a little more accurate than Kathryn was comfortable with on this count. Rather than get into a discussion of the matter with the man in question in the next room, she decided to make a tactical retreat and have the aforementioned 'how Chakotay is doing' conversation.
Sitting down on the sofa beside him as he bounced Miral on his knee, Kathryn looked at Chakotay questioningly. He watched her for several moments before he spoke.
"Congratulations on the promotion, Kathryn. You'll be a wonderful admiral, Starfleet were wise to choose you, and not just because of the PR point of view."
"You've been reading the news reports about my admiralty then. General consensus is the brass bowed to public opinion, and that's why I was promoted so soon."
"Seven wanted an alpha male." The non-sequitur took Kathryn off-guard.
"She wanted… What?"
"The top man, the man in charge, the highest in the ranking she could get and stick to her own sexual preference. It took her almost nine months at home before she came to believe I wasn't going to be a rank-climber, even for her. Even if the brass would take me, it's not who I am. I told her that this morning when she pushed me again to try for promotion, and she left."
"You were the alpha male on Voyager, and she wanted you to try and be one here as well." Kathryn finally understood. Chakotay's attraction to Seven had always made sense to her – he likes blondes, and Seven of Nine is a beautiful woman. Her attraction to him had always been a little more difficult to pin down – he didn't seem her type, somehow.
"It's not as if I didn't sense that when we first started dating, but –" he cut himself off abruptly. "Can I be honest with you in this conversation, please?"
She nodded, unsure of what was about to be said.
"It's not as if I didn't sense that when we first started dating… but I had just given up on you ever feeling for me the way I did for you, and somebody else being interested felt good. It was always you I wanted, but I realised that when it came down to me against the ship, the ship would always come first, so I moved on. I tried to. God, I've wanted to tell you that for such a long time."
Kathryn reached out her hand and laid it on his arm, moistening her lips to speak although she didn't know what she was about to say. To kiss him this soon after the end of his relationship would be wrong, wouldn't it? They didn’t get a chance to find out, as B'Elanna and Tom appeared in the room to greet Chakotay and call everybody to the table.
A good, long talk was what they needed, Kathryn decided, and she intended to make sure they had one after dinner. They had lost so much time already. She rose from the sofa, squeezing Chakotay's hand briefly, and took Miral from him to carry her through to her high chair at the table, which was decorated with festive centrepieces and crackers.
Reaching for a foil wrapped cracker, Kathryn held it out to Chakotay and smiled. He took hold of the other end, and their eyes met as they pulled it together.
"Merry Christmas, Chakotay."
"Merry Christmas."
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