See Part One for disclaimer, etc.
Same Time, Next Year - Part Seven
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2385 - England
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Kathryn walked up to the cottage door and dumped her luggage on the floor with a thump. Letting out a loud sigh, she turned round to face her daughter and crouched down beside her.
"Hannah, are you OK?"
"Yeah, Mummy. Is your friend here?"
"He should be. I just want to make absolutely sure you're OK. You know why you're here, don't you."
"It's something to do with us not living with Daddy anymore."
"Yes, it is. I'm going to knock on the door now, OK? Don't be scared of Chakotay, he's a nice man."
"OK Mummy."
Kathryn stood up again and mentally prepared herself for what was to come. Knocking on the door, all she could do now was wait.
***
Chakotay opened the door to a scene he certainly hadn't been expecting. There stood Kathryn, with a little girl he could only assume was her daughter and enough luggage for a five-year deep space mission. To say he was surprised was an understatement, and he certainly couldn't hide it from Kathryn. He just stood and stared until Hannah's voice brought him to his senses.
"Mummy, is he OK?"
"I think Chakotay's just a little surprised, honey."
"I'm sorry Kathryn. It's just…you're going to have to stop doing this you know. That's twice you've managed to stop me in my tracks as I opened the door. What's going on?"
"Can I come in? Then I'll explain everything."
"Of course, let me help you with your things. What's in all this?"
"Almost everything I own."
"You're joking! Hang on, you're not are you, you're serious."
"Never been more so in my life. This is everything I own, and most of Hannah's stuff too."
"I'm listening."
"You might want to sit down."
"Just get on with it."
"I've left Mark."
"You what?"
"You heard me, I left him."
"Why?"
"You have to ask?"
"Because of me?"
"Hannah, honey, take your toys and go and play in the bedroom."
"Do I have to?"
"Yes, go on."
"OK."
Hannah slowly picked up her stuff and left the room, and Kathryn turned her attention back to Chakotay.
"Yes, Chakotay, because of you."
"But I asked you to last year. Hell, I proposed to you! Why now, and not then?"
"I thought I could still be happy with Mark, I wanted Hannah to grow up with both of her parents. I told you all of this before."
"So what changed?"
"Everything. I could do it before, I could live with Mark because I knew that you were with Helen, we were both married. Of course I thought about you, but I knew I had to be happy with our one weekend a year. And I was, I truly was. But then, this year, when I thought about you I thought of you alone. You weren't meant to be alone, I've always known that. It made me feel awful on Voyager, knowing that you were on your own because of me. But now, you were alone again, and it ate away at me. I started to think about you more and more, knowing that again it had been my choice not to be with you. Mark started to notice something was wrong. I became more distant, and when I did talk to him I was always talking about Voyager. I had never really discussed it much with him before, and he became curious as to why I was now."
Kathryn was no longer looking at Chakotay as she spoke, but rather her gaze was fixed on a point in space that only she could see as she continued.
"Then two months ago, Mark walked in on me while I was talking to my animal guide. I never had told him about my medicine bundle, so he didn't know what it was. He walked into the room to see me sitting on the floor with the contents of the bundle spread out in front of me, and my hand on the Akoonah. He said afterwards that he'd never seen me look so at peace. Anyway, he just watched and waited until I once again became aware of my surroundings. The look on my face when I realised he was there must have been priceless. I'd been caught and I knew it. He's not stupid, he knew where it had come from. He knew about you, he knew that we had been best friends aboard Voyager and I think he suspected a little of how deep our feelings had been for each other. It hadn't mattered though, because as far as he knew we'd parted on bad terms and hadn't spoken to each other in years. He also knew of your background, and it didn't take much for him to link what he saw in front of him to what he knew of your spiritual beliefs. I think, no, I know he was surprised that I would do anything with even a remotely spiritual origin. He realised then for the first time how much I had changed since I'd met you, and that there was a large part of me that he didn't know. It hurt him. He threw a million questions at me, and I couldn't answer him. I think we both knew then that our marriage was over. But at that point, he still hadn't realised that we'd been seeing each other. Even after my comment three years ago when I'd said I wished the baby was yours, he still didn't suspect a thing. He thought it was just a ghost he was fighting, and he'd given up already."
"You said 'at that point'. He knows now?"
"Yes."
"How? Did you tell him?"
"I didn't get the chance. We kept on for a while, I think for Hannah's sake, trying to pretend that everything was fine. Then one day when I got back from the office, I found him sitting on the sofa with the computer terminal active in front of him, just staring. I looked at the screen, and it was all there. Everything he needed. Hannah's birth certificate, details of my transporter activity, and of your time on Earth every year. He knew. It's funny really, he figured it out in the same way as Tom and B'Elanna. Deep down he had wondered for a long time why I hadn't contacted him when I went into labour, and he finally had his answer. I still don't know what alerted him to it. As far as I knew I hadn't given him any reason to suppose that I'd seen you since the day you refused the commission aboard Voyager, but he found out all the same. I ended up staring at the screen with him, until he confronted me…"
+++
"Well?"
Nothing.
"Kathryn, speak to me. Tell me this isn't what it looks like, tell me I'm jumping to conclusions. I can handle that your feelings for me are nothing like what you feel for him. For Hannah's sake, I can live with that and try to pretend we live a normal life. But not when you've been with him, not if you've been seeing him every year for who knows how long. Not if he was there when my daughter was born."
"Mark, I'm so sorry…"
"How could you do that, Kathryn? He was at my daughter's birth! Do you have any idea how that makes me feel?"
"Of course not, I can't even begin to imagine. I didn't mean it to happen, when we got married I truly believed that I would never see Chakotay again. I thought I could be happy with you, and I have been. I met Chakotay accidentally that first time, but after an initial awkwardness it was like we had never been apart. I love him Mark, I think that somewhere inside of you you've always known that. But believe me when I say that meeting up on that weekend allowed us to keep our marriages alive. He was married too."
"Was married?"
"Yes, Helen died about a year ago. Complications during her pregnancy, the child was lost as well."
"That's what's been wrong with you recently. You know he's no longer married."
"But I am. You said it yourself, we need to make this work for Hannah."
"Wake up Kathryn. Things will never be alright between us again. Not unless…I need you to promise me that you won't see him again. If you could do that, it could work. We could rebuild, take a holiday, find out what…"
"No."
"What?"
"I said no, Mark. I'd be living a lie, and I won't do that anymore. I can't."
+++
"I moved out after that, took Hannah with me to stay at my mother's. She didn't ask what happened, and I didn't say. She only found out what she does know when Mark started divorce proceedings. Perhaps unsurprisingly he's cited my adultery as the reason. To say that Mum was shocked is an understatement. Mark's been a family friend for years, I almost expected her to throw me out of her house. She certainly didn't understand why I'd done it, and she wasn't in any mood to find out either. She doesn't know where I am now, I just said I had to go somewhere and that I'd be in touch."
"I don't know what to say."
"There's nothing to say. Except…I know I rejected you last year, and I know that I hurt you by doing that. Do you think you could forgive me? And, if you can, forgive me that is, when my divorce comes through…will you marry me?"
"K…Kathryn…I don't know what to say…"
"How about yes?"
"Yes! Of course I'll marry you, I don't believe it, after all this time… You know, I always imagined it would be me asking you."
"You did."
"Not when it mattered. But that's not important. I can't believe you are finally going to become my wife!"
"Hey, I love you remember? I've wanted this for so long."
"Me too. Come here and kiss me."
"I thought you'd never ask."
Not more than a few seconds passed before they were interrupted by the voice of a small child.
"Mummy! Why are you kissing him? He's not my Daddy!"
"Oh honey, I know he's not, but he's going to be like another Daddy for you. Hannah, Mummy and Chakotay are going to get married."
"But you're already married to Daddy."
"I won't be soon, darling. You see, your Daddy and I aren't going to live together anymore."
"Don't you love him anymore?"
"I'll always love your Dad because he gave me you, but I love Chakotay too. So, you and I are going to live with him."
"Will I still see Daddy?"
"Of course you will!"
"That's OK then, we can live with 'Kotay. As long as he can cook as well as Daddy can, because you can't."
"No, she can't can she Hannah?"
"Hey, how many times do I have to tell you? I can cook, I just don't like to!"
"Whatever you say, Kathryn."
"And don't you forget it. In fact, talking of your cooking, maybe an audition's in order. What do you think, Hannah, should we get Chakotay to cook us something now?"
"Yeah, 'Kotay cook now!"
"The women have spoken! OK, what do you like Hannah? I haven't got any meat I'm afraid, but I've probably got every vegetable under the Sun. What are your favourites?"
"I like carrots best, 'cos they're orange. And sweetcorn 'cos it's yellow."
"Bright colours then."
"Yes, something pretty."
"I'll see what I can do."
So Chakotay got up to cook, and soon found out that the way to a future step-daughter's heart is through her stomach. At least, it is when they're not quite three years old.
***
Later that evening, Kathryn and Chakotay lay curled up on the bed. Hannah was asleep on the sofa in the other room, having collapsed exhausted after a three-way tickle fight. Actually, it hadn't been so much three-way as teaming up with Chakotay against her mother. As soon as Hannah had started to nod off they had laid her down on the sofa and told her to close her eyes. She had been asleep in seconds.
Since then a contented silence had reigned between Kathryn and Chakotay. They had happily curled up in each others arms, and were just revelling in the feeling of finally being together. After years of obstacles, be they imaginary or real, it was a wonderful feeling that finally nothing was keeping them apart.
Their path was going to be far from easy though, and they both realised it. Perhaps predictably, it was Kathryn that first voiced her concerns.
"Chakotay?"
"Hmmm?"
"What happens now?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, that you still work on Dorvan. Now I want to make this work no matter what it takes, but that's one hell of a long-distance relationship."
"I know. That's why I'm going to apply for a transfer when I report in this week."
"You don't have to do that! I don’t want you giving up a job you obviously enjoy just to be with me. What if one day you realise it was all a terrible mistake? I don't want you to resent me in ten years time, I think I could cope with anything but that."
"I won't regret it, and I'd never resent you. Actually, I've been thinking about asking for a transfer for some time now, this is just giving me the reason I was searching for. I wouldn't mind a teaching post at the Academy if they'll give me one, or else a desk job somewhere. Spending more time on Earth would be wonderful, especially now that I've got you here."
"I only want you to do that if you're sure."
"I am. There is one thing we need to sort out though."
"What's that?"
"Where are we going to live?"
"I really don't know. Honestly, I'd love to live in Indiana, but I don't think that's an option anymore. I grew up there, certainly, but so did Mark. There could be a lot of bad feeling round there if we were to show up, announce we were getting married and set up house. I could live with it, but I don't want to put my family through that, or Mark's. I know I've hurt them tremendously with all this, and I don't expect them to forgive me. Let's face it, thanks to me their son will now have two ex-wives and a daughter with each. I don't want to put the Johnsons through any more pain than I have already, they've been too good to me in the past."
"So what options does that leave us?"
"Anywhere else on the planet, I suppose, and further than that I have no idea."
"How about here, in England. Not in this particular cottage, it isn't big enough for all three of us, but somewhere nearby. I've come to really love the place over the last few years."
"I like that idea. The countryside around here really is gorgeous, and I think I remember someone saying there are some excellent schools around too, I have to consider that."
"And unless we live in San Francisco it doesn't really matter where we transport from to get to Starfleet HQ."
"That's settled then, we should start looking for somewhere as soon as possible. I need somewhere of my own to live, I can't keep imposing on my mother. There is one other major problem though."
"What's that?"
"The press. Mark's not stupid, there's a very good reason he didn't specify exactly who I committed adultery with, at least not where he doesn't have to - he knows that despite how long we've been back, a story involving the original command team from Voyager would be big news. He doesn't want that for Hannah so he kept quiet, but once we get married it's going to get out."
"It seems like everything's for Hannah's sake at the moment, although I agree it should be. This isn't going to be easy on her. As far as the media is concerned, I'm not sure what we can do. They'll write their stories no matter what we say. Let's face it they've got a pretty juicy story without having to make anything up, so the chances are we won't even be able to deny that what they're saying is true. The best we can do is show people how much we love each other and try to forget about it."
"I'm still worried about my daughter."
"I know, so am I, but I really don't know what else we can do. Have you talked to Mark yet about when he's going to be able to see her?"
"No, we haven't even formally agreed that I'll be getting custody, but I don't think that'll be a problem. Even if he did challenge it we can give Hannah a stable family environment with two parents, and unless Mark has been hiding something from me he'd be looking after her on his own. I don't want to put a limit on his contact with her though. I saw first-hand what that would do to him with his experience with Kathryn, and I think it would be unfair of me to do it to him as well."
"You know, now that you and he are no longer together Jackie might let him see Kathryn more often."
"I hadn't thought about that, but I suppose you're right. I did suspect that the limited contact wasn't just because of the travel between their home and Earth. Maybe some good will come out of this for Mark, I hope he can be happy one day."
"As happy as us?"
"Why not? Although I don't know if that's possible."
"After what happened to me, to us, today, I could quite easily believe that anything's possible. I love you, Kathryn."
"I love you, too."
Kathryn turned towards Chakotay and wound her hands behind his head. Pulling him down towards her, she gave him a passionate kiss that set the tone for the rest of the night.
***
Hannah woke up to sunlight streaming through the back window, and turned quickly to get the light out of her eyes. Unfortunately for her, the sofa she had been lying on wasn't big enough for that kind of movement and she went crashing to the floor. Unhurt, she decided to go in search of her mother.
When she reached the bedroom door she instantly stopped in her tracks. Her mother was there, in the bed, but so was Chakotay. What was going on? Mummy usually shared her bed with Daddy? Why was she cuddled up to Chakotay like that?
Slowly Kathryn became aware of her daughter's presence, and quietly beckoned her over to the side of the bed nearest her. She somehow knew what her daughter's confused gaze had been about and started straight in to explain things to her.
"Hannah, do you remember what I told you yesterday, about how Chakotay and I are going to get married?"
"Yes, you said we're going to live with 'Kotay. And you kissed him."
"That's right, because I love him."
"Is that why you're in a bed together?"
"Yes, honey, that's why. Is that OK?"
"I think so, I just forgot. It made me think of Daddy."
"I know. It's going to be alright, you know. You'll get used to this soon."
"I know Mum. Can I get in?"
"You want to get in here, with us?"
"Yes, you let me in with you and Daddy."
"I know, but Chakotay's not your Daddy."
"But he's going to be, you said so."
"Kathryn?" The sound of voices had woken Chakotay, but he still sounded sleepy as he spoke.
"Sorry, did we wake you?"
"It's OK. Did I hear my favourite little girl say she wanted to get in?"
"Am I really your favourite little girl?"
"Yes. Do you want to?"
"What?"
"Get in."
"Yes."
"Come on then."
Hannah climbed in and immediately settled herself between Kathryn and Chakotay. Pulling the covers back up, she seemed to fall asleep almost instantaneously.
"I envy kids' ability to fall asleep like that. Getting sleep would have been so much easier aboard Voyager if I'd had half Hannah's capabilities. Nothing is important enough to deprive her of sleep."
"And you always let too many things rob you of your sleep, Kathryn, even when someone else could have worried about them."
"Like you, you mean."
"You could have let me worry about them, yes."
"That's not what I meant. You let work bother you just as much as I did."
"So we're both guilty. I'm going to make up for some of it now."
"You’re going back to sleep?"
"Yes, I'm tired. I think Hannah has the right idea about what to do this morning."
"What about this afternoon?"
"We'll worry about that when we get there. Same goes for anything else."
"If you say so. Sleep well then."
"You too, Kathryn."
***
By mid-afternoon the three of them had finally gotten out of bed and were lounging around in the garden. Hannah was playing in the grass while Kathryn and Chakotay sat nearby.
"You know what we should do, Chakotay."
"No, what?"
"Contact Tom and B'Elanna. I haven't even told them about the split from Mark. They've been good friends to both of us through the years. Hell, they've done more for us than most would, keeping quiet about what they know. They deserve to be the first to know now that we can finally tell people about us, about the wedding."
"You're right. You want to do it now?"
"Why not?"
"OK. You go in and set up the transmission, I'll get Hannah. Let's see if we can't surprise them."
So Kathryn walked into the cottage and set up the link to Tom and B'Elanna's apartment. B'Elanna answered, and was obviously surprised at who was calling.
*Kathryn! What are you doing calling here? I thought you were 'busy' this weekend. Where are you anyway?*
"Hey, slow down B'Elanna. I'm in England, at the cottage."
*The cottage?*
"Yes, the cottage."
*Is Chakotay there too?*
"Yes."
*Then what the hell are you doing spending your time calling us?*
At this point Chakotay arrived and sat next to Kathryn with Hannah on his lap, so that they could all be seen on B'Elanna's end of the transmission.
*Chakotay, hi! And Hannah?! What the hell is she doing there with you?*
"B'El, is Tom there? I think you should both hear this together."
*Yeah, I'll get him. Tom! You'll never guess who it is calling - it's Kathryn and Chakotay!*
*Both of them?*
*Yes.*
*Together?*
*Yes.*
Tom was seen pushing his way to fit on the screen with B'Elanna.
*Kathryn, what's going on?*
"That's what we're here to tell you. Tom, B'Elanna…Mark and I are getting a divorce."
*What! What happened? Did he find out?*
"Yes, sort of. He noticed I was acting strangely this past year. Anyway, it's a long story. What is important is what else we wanted to tell you. Good news, I hope."
*Well, don't keep us in suspense.*
"Chakotay and I are getting married."
*Kahless, it's about time! Congratulations!*
*Yeah, congrats! I can't believe it took you this long either, but I'm glad all the same. When's the wedding?*
"Hang on Tom, my divorce isn't even finalised yet. But soon, I think. Don't you, Chakotay?"
"Definitely. Now I finally have you in my grasp I'm not giving you any chance of backing out."
"That's not going to happen. Not now, or ever."
*Believe her, Chakotay. You weren't the one who had to pick up the pieces at Voyager's welcome home party. I don't think any of us would voluntarily go through that again, least of all Kathryn.*
"I know, B'Elanna, I know. And I'm sorry about back then."
*It doesn't matter, not anymore. Have you told your family yet, Kathryn?*
"No, and it's not something I'm looking forward to. My family have been friends with the Johnsons for years, and they didn't take news of the divorce well. Telling them about getting re-married - that's not going to be fun."
*You've got nothing to worry about, Kathryn, not with your Mum anyway. As long as you're happy, she's happy.*
"I know that Tom, I'm more worried about Phoebe."
*Why, what's makes your sister any different?*
"You've never met her, have you B'Elanna?"
*Not to talk to properly, no. I saw her briefly at your wedding but that's it.*
"She's a wonderful person, but fiercely loyal. That's great if she's on your side, but it's not going to help us here. She and Mark became extremely close friends in those first few years we were all missing, and to say she's not happy with me about the divorce would be an understatement. A large one."
*But she's your sister.*
"And that is the only reason I think she'll come round eventually. It's going to take time, that's all."
*Think you can handle that, Chakotay?*
"Hey, if I can handle one Janeway I can handle them all!"
Their laughter was interrupted by a bleep on Tom and B'Elanna's end of the communication.
*Oh, sorry Kathryn, Chakotay, we have another message coming through.*
"That's OK, we should go now anyway. We have to start thinking about feeding Hannah soon."
*Goodbye then, and congratulations again!*
"Thanks Tom, see you both soon I hope."
*We hope so too Chakotay. We can all get together for the first time in years.*
"Looking forward to it already. Janeway out."
***
Hours later, with Hannah tucked up safely in bed, Kathryn and Chakotay again found themselves talking about what they were going to do next.
"I should go back to my mother's tomorrow, let her know where I am. I have to tell her about this, about us, in person. Actually, I wouldn't be surprised if she knows by now."
"What do you mean? I thought you hadn't told her where you were going."
"I didn't, but she's not stupid. She knows that Mark's divorcing me because I was unfaithful, it wouldn't take much of a leap to assume I'm with you."
"Me specifically, or whoever you had the affair with in general?"
"I don't see how she could know it was you, but then again she is my mother."
"How are you going to tell her?"
"That I don't know yet. Can I ask you a favour though?"
"Sure, what is it?"
"Can you take Hannah for the day? I'm not too worried about what Mum will say, but I'd rather not have Hannah there all the same."
"I can look after her if that's what you want, but are you sure you wouldn't rather leave her with Mark?"
"No, I'd like her to have some time to get to know you."
"Fair enough. So, do you have any suggestions as to when we should go looking for a house?"
"I was thinking about that earlier. You're going to San Francisco on Monday aren't you?"
"Yes."
"Right, so if I make sure I come back from my mother's tomorrow evening I can take Hannah out on Monday to look at houses. If I see anything promising I'll arrange for us to see it again together."
"Can you get the time off to do that?"
"That won't be a problem, I've got some leave owing."
"Why doesn’t that surprise me?"
"Oh I don't know, maybe it just wouldn't feel right if someone didn't have to bully me into taking time off."
"Old habits die hard then, even for admirals."
"Especially for admirals!"
"Talking of admirals, I'll have to speak to some to ask for that transfer on Monday. I won't say anything about us though. I get the feeling that although there will be those who are happy for us, there may still be those who aren't exactly going to be leading the cheering squad."
"Normally I'd say that's their problem, but I think you're right. We don't want to do anything to harm your chances of getting the posting you want. As soon as we're all sorted we can tell the world about us. There won't be a thing they can do then, I think I've got enough clout to stop anyone being able to interfere once your transfer's been approved."
"So that's it then, the beginning of the rest of our lives planned."
"As much as it can be."
"We're going to be OK, aren't we Kathryn?"
"We're going to be great. We've waited years for this, and we deserve it."
"Damned right we do. We should get to bed, do you want me to carry Hannah out here to the sofa?"
"No. Let her have the bed, we can sleep out here."
"You sure?"
"Yes, if we curl up together on here we'll sleep just fine. I will, anyway."
"So will I. Goodnight Kathryn, and I love you."
"Love you too. ‘Night."
=/\=
To be continued...
